I desperately needed yoga today. So, I went to a class expecting to feel balanced, peaceful, centered, and relaxed. After all, isn’t that how yoga is described in the brochure? Unfortunately, yoga failed me…it didn’t do any of those things!
The hour-long class felt like an eternity. With every “cleansing” breath I would glance at the clock and notice only a minute had passed. I wanted to launch myself off my yoga mat with every downward facing dog and warrior pose. The corpse pose, when the lights dim even lower and the melodic music is supposed to lull you into a meditative state, was the worst. I felt like death warmed over. Maybe it should be renamed.
Then, instead of “namaste” at the end of the class, I think I let a few swear words slip out under my breath. &*%^. (#@!*.
The harder I tried to clear my mind, the faster my thoughts raced. The more I tried to slow my breathing, the faster my heart beat. I tried to surrender and allow yoga to work its magic, but I couldn’t find peace, serenity, or balance no matter how hard I tried. Yoga didn’t work for me today.
Of course, maybe I can’t blame yoga. After all, it’s a practice that’s been around a lot longer than me. However, I really needed yoga today because I’m about to lose my mind.
I wrote my first book, Woman UP! Overcome the 7 Deadly Sins that Sabotage Your Success, and it’s expected to arrive on my doorstep any day now. The best comparison (as I’m sure many of you can relate) is when I was expecting my first child to arrive. There are so many similarities between a new baby and a new book – here are a few:
- They both took about a year to develop.
- They both are an emotional investment on the deepest level.
- They both are a part of and an extension of who you are.
- They both will change your life in ways you could never even imagine.
- They both will look and behave differently than you expected.
- They both have the potential to amaze, inspire, challenge, and take you places you never dreamed possible.
All of that is true and I’m ready for another completely unpredictable adventure. It’s the waiting at this final stage that’s the hard part. My son was born 5 days after his due date. They were the longest 5 days of my life. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I walked, I slept, I got a last-minute mani-pedi, and I nested like no woman has ever nested before. My mind was racing and was filled with so many thoughts, ideas, fears, and questions…I couldn’t quiet my noisy mind.
The same is true today as I impatiently wait for my book to arrive. I have the attention span of a gnat. I can’t complete a thought or an email for that matter. Twitter has too many characters to hold my attention. I feel anxious, excited, nervous, and overflowing with complete anticipation of what’s about to arrive. I don’t know what this book is going to look like or where it will take me, but if I use my son as an example, I have every reason to believe it will be the adventure of a lifetime.
I’m sorry, yoga…I don’t blame you for not working today. You did your best. You tried your hardest. I’m the one that needs to be open, willing to receive the gifts the world has to offer, and ready to surrender to whatever happens next.
We will meet again, dear yoga. Until then…Namaste, &%$@#!!
allyson@passionatehome.com said:
Hi there. I apologize for being so tardy in getting back to you after you sent your thoughtful and generous note. I misunderstood your pricing for resume work.First, I ordered your book just moments ago. They’d better hurry and get them printed and out — some of us need that book!! I am so anxious to read it, and I have no doubt that I have sabotaged my career in all seven ways.Regarding getting together, here is why I am hedging….I really feel like continuing on in marketing as I have is just a recipe for continued dissatisfaction. Marketing makes me feel inadequate and “lesser than,” and I know this probably doesn’t make sense. So, working on my resume seems a little pointless, although then I think that it’s work I need to do anyway. I recently applied for the marketing VP at Camp Bow Wow, and the head of marketing at Graland Country Day School, and it was just brutal putting a resume and cover letter together for each….and I have no doubt that I won’t hear a peep. I simply do not know what I want to do or am capable of doing at this point. It leads me to thinking that I just need to work on the transition plan. My health is my health, and I can either sit at home and think about it or I can get out and do something to try to distract myself from thinking about it all the time. While I am talking to a new Dr. in Phoenix, I still think that I am at the end of the road in terms of trying to find a fix, so being at the doc’s all the time is behind me. I am sick of letting this make me a victim and I want to overcome this. I need to overcome this.A couple of weeks ago I talk a class on entrepreneurship to 5th grade kids at Whittier Elementary in Five Points. It was through Junior Achievement and I loved it. So, there continues to be something about speaking in public and being with people that I so love. Anyway, I partnered with a woman named Gaelle Callnin, and it was a wonderful experience. She is probably in her early 40’s, she is French, and she recently started her own company with parts and pieces that are aligned with what you do. She is the new president of the American Marketing Association and is a kind, funny, outgoing and smart woman. I somehow want the two of you to meet. She needs to meet you!!Anyway, I am rambling and talking about a bunch of things. Do you agree/disagree with my assessment on the resume? Is it a waste of time/money to do it when I am so mixed up? Or, should I just do it and then process next steps? Also, may I introduce you to Gaelle? I already spoke to her about you and will send her your last note about the new book. She’s at a perfect crossroads to read it.I am so thrilled for you and envious of your drive and passion. Allyson
Deb said:
What a lovely dose of my favorite powerful force of courage and grace. Yoga may not have worked for you today – but you definitely worked your magic for me… and soon for so many others! I see the light…..